omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize