Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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