He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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