you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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