Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
