Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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