I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
