you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
