Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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