Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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