I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
