if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
