ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
