The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
