Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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