So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
