ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
