people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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