I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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