I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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