In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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