to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
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