it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
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Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.