i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
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Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome