tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize