She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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