Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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