there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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