is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Who died my cat blue again?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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