:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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