is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Will exercising make me less horny?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
