Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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