Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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