so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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