So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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