Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
