So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
