i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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