OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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