I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
