i already hear my dad disowning me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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