So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
