Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
