Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
