Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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