I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
