I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Do vagina's smell?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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