please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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