Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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