you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
