I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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