I wannas sexs uuuuu
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
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Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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