I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
