he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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