i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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