I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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