I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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