I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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