You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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