can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
