sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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