It's a beautiful day for a hangover
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
